8dp3dt or rather how this is a long long overdue post

Erm, I couldn't decide on the right title for this post. Heck, I couldn't even decide whether I would actually write this post.

You know what it feels like when you have not spoken to a friend for ages and you feel slightly guilty about being so sluggish at keeping in touch. And the longer you wait, the harder it feels to pick up the phone. Then when you finally come 'round to it, it turns out that your friend felt the same and is loving your call. There was a bit of that. So much has happened over the past months and I didn't know where to begin or what to write. Call it blogger's block.

A lot of preparation has gone into this cycle. How nice it was not having to worry about my ovaries behaving, but just concentrating on making my lining receptive for the embryos. How hard it was to sit back and trust that a bunch of other people are doing what they need to in order to get you pregnant. And then you have to think constantly about how weird your life is, which is just tiring.

The down-regulation was not a particularly pleasant experience. The nasal spray brought me in a menopausal state and made me very weepy. I got weepy thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. The donor might not respond well to the drugs, my lining might not thicken up enough, none of the embryos might make it to day 3 or it might simply not work. Egg donation is not fool proof anymore than normal IVF is. And I even got weepy about being weepy!

You can imagine my (and Jonny's!) happiness when I could start the other drugs, the ones to build up my lining. I felt so much better, I was relieved! The donor responded well to the drugs, my lining turned out to be a perfect 10 mm, the sperm was good enough for ICSI and three of the embryos made it to day three. So last Saturday we transferred two embryos that our clinic characterized as "good quality". One six-celled and one seven-celled embryo. We would proudly like to present the first pictures of our two lil' ones:



And here we are: 8 days past a day 3 transfer and I still feel good, if slightly nervous. I try really hard not to analyse every twinge, ache and pain. And I am not doing a very good job at it. Cramps a few days after the transfer, sore breasts, lower back pain. In a good moment I associate the symptoms with pregnancy, in a bad moment I think that my period is looming. Maddening!

According to the doctor and embryologist, we have every reason to be positive and optimistic. Which we are. And I am so grateful to have this opportunity for success and I really apreciate it that we have made it this far. I just wish that time would go a little bit quicker! Five days to go until the blood test...