8w4d and catnaps

One of my friends compared the first trimester of pregnancy to being in a permanent state of hangover. The fuzzy head, the tiredness, the dehydration that causes the brain to shrink away from the skull slightly, giving a headache. And of course the sick feeling you might also enjoy after a good night out.

A pretty good comparison, of course except that this feeling is not associated with over indulgence of alcohol, but by a little embryo going through crucial changes. Within this trimester the embryo has the most rapid rate of growth and development taking place. No wonder I am so tired!

I spend the days sleeping in between preparing Christmas dinner for 17 people. Or rather, making dinner preparations between cat naps on the sofa. The cats love it, always one of them quick to curl up with me on the sofa and keep my belly nice and warm!

A Christmas food tradition

I first got acquainted with panettone when I lived in Brazil and I loved it from the start. Best described as a sweet yeast bread chock-full of plump raisins and candied peel, it is aromatic and elegantly sweet, the perfect companion to a cup of milky coffee.

Northern Italian immigrants brought panettone to Brazil, or panettoni as it is pronounced there. Like in its native Italy, panettone is traditionally eaten around Christmas and New Year.

With its popularity on the rise here, it is quite easy to find panettone in the shops. In fact our local deli has shelves and shelves stacked high with original Italian panettone. Tried and tasted of course. Nice enough, but not so fluffy and not so melt-in-the-mouth as the panettone from Brazilian brand Bauducco. Of course, purists might disagree.

So you can imagine my happiness on the day that Jonny picked up some Brazilian panettone from a Portuguese shop not far from our house! Absolutely scrumptious! And this year we've bought extra stock - who can resist panettone bread and butter pudding on a cold January evening?

7w6d and hunger overdrive

One of my favourite children books of all time is the Very Hungry Caterpillar. It tells the story of a ravenous caterpillar's path as he eats his way through one apple on Monday, two pears on Tuesday, three plums on Wednesday, and so on, through cherry pie and sausage - until he is really fat and has a stomach ache. And then he rests for two weeks and turns into a beautiful butterfly.

At the moment I feel a bit like the caterpillar. I am permanently hungry. Although I have always had a good appetite, I now think about food all the time. Straight after dinner, I consider my next snack, people in a restaurant scene on telly set my hunger off and I even managed to dream about food last night. Tables and tables of cakes and donuts featured in my dream. A very sweet dream indeed!

Even feeling nauseous has not put me off my food. In fact it makes me want to eat, since that is a sure way for the nausea to go away. Unlike the caterpillar it seems not to be the healthy fruit and veg that I crave though. I want carbs and cheese. Bring on the pizza, bread and cookies!

Permanent hunger is apparently a feature of the first trimester. I can't really blame the bloated belly on the 1+ cm embryo yet. But it is much more fun to blame my pregnancy for my bloated belly than that extra piece of pie!

7w2d, a sigh of relief and a smile

Late Friday morning we returned to Bronovo Hospital (where we continue to be pleasantly surprised by the quality of staff) for our second official ultrasound scan at seven weeks and two days.

We were both nervous about this scan. The two weeks since the last official scan had not been without their events, with Flo cramping and bleeding mid way through. And although the cramps and the bleeding had stopped, there's always a niggle in your mind wondering as to why they've stopped... dark thoughts inevitably enter your mind and you begin to doubt the success of the pregnancy.

Flo and I are not very compatible when we're both nervous. I have a tendency to make jokes and fool around a little. Flo on the other hand becomes über serious. It takes serious concentration to not get annoyed with one another, but it's something that we've learnt to deal with over the years... there comes a point when we both suddenly realise that we're both nervous and we instantly acknowledge and accept one another's behaviour, the annoying frowns melting into understanding smiles. It's not always been that way... we've grown up an awful lot since we met... and a good job too since it's becoming increasingly likely that we're going to be parents.


The picture above shows our 1.03 cm long foetus, at the centre-right of the picture. It's more than tripled in size in the past two weeks and Flo's body continues to adapt itself to accommodate continued growth at a similar rate. You can imagine how relieved we were to see that everything looks good. But we got a special treat this time round. Not only could we see the tiny little heart pumping away, but we got to hear it too!


Unfortunately you can't hear it in the picture above, but you can see the trace of the heart beat to the right of the scan and you'll just have to trust me that it was a healthy sounding 120 beats per minute.

It's really starting to dawn on me now... I'm going to be Dad... and I'm not in the slightest bit worried about it... I'm really looking forward to it! It's already having an impact on my life... I find myself almost unconsciously factoring in the child into decision making about the future. It's becoming increasingly real!

Flo's response was of course pretty predictable. A big smile followed by tears. But as predictable as it is, it never fails to induce me to give her a kiss and a big hug. I'm proud of my wifey.

6w3d good news and some drama

Last night one of our friends exclaimed that I was leaking. He was actually referring to the steady flood of tears coming from my eyes. It is true. I cry. A lot. I saw a 3-year old on TV who had fallen down the stairs and whose sobbing was heart-rending and I cried with him. I cry at kind cards we receive and at sweet messages. I am so so emotionally incontinent.

When I called the hospital yesterday afternoon and told them about the persistent stitch-like pain in my right abdomen, I cried too. In pain, worried and upset. My very sweet gynaecologist told me this was no way to enter a weekend and asked me to come and see her. So I did. And I saw a tiny flicker at the screen. A tiny courageous little flicker. We have a heartbeat!! Still too early to hear, but it was definitely there!

The stitch-like pain? She had no indication of it being anything bad. It could be my appendix, it could be sac two wondering off for a stroll. Who knows? She did tell me to get in touch again if the pain got worse or if I started bleeding. Which happened only a few hours later.

All geared up for the Christmas party we were invited to, I started to have debilitating cramps. Sort of unable-to-move-or-talk-cramps. And then there was blood. Fresh red blood. But I did not cry. I just called the hospital and explained the situation. They told us to come around.

So instead of going to the party, we went to the hospital. Nicely dressed (us), in high heels (me) and with hair and make-up done (me again, not Jonny). We did not know what to say to each other, both feeling a bit numb. Knowing that we would be able to feel something again after seeing the ultrasound.

And on a quiet Friday night on a Christmassy maternity ward, Jonny saw the heartbeat for the first time too. The registrar said the baby looked absolutely fine. The baby! The bleeding had stopped and she was unable to tell where the blood came from. It sometimes happens in early pregnancy, especially in IVF and ICSI pregnancies. She said it was nothing to worry about. But if we did we were always welcome to come back for some reassurance.

With big smiles on both our faces and Jonny's arms around me, we left the deserted hospital. Off to the party. Where indeed I started leaking. I was crying tears of relief, of happiness, of nerves. Not really jolly festive material, so we left the party again. With the knowledge that we have a tiny little heartbeat, that everything is okay. So far so good. Pfffew!

5 weeks 2 days and a snap shot

This time last week was great. Flo and I had just had it confirmed that we were officially pregnant, which was absolutely fantastic news. But the icing on the cake was seeing Flo so happy and literally glowing... walking around with her head in the clouds and a permanent smile on her face.

As the week went on however, the width of the smile decreased and her shoulders began to droop with worry, as she slowly tried to convince herself that it wasn't working and that she wasn't feeling any symptoms. Of course, while Flo was getting concerned about not feeling any symptoms, I could see plenty.

For a start she's been much more tired than normal, heading off to bed no later than 10 o'clock each night where before it was a challenge to get to bed before 11 o'clock. Then there's eating... suddenly she's gone completely off certain foods and last night I found a bucket next to the bed which had been placed there "just in case".

Then there's the forgetfulness. Like stopping half way through a sentence and forgetting what she was going to say. But then there's also the other extreme... managing to string out a 30 second story into five minutes, usually when I'm stood naked in the bathroom about to leave to put some clothes on while she's still in the shower.

Oh yes, then there's the bouts of deafness. I don't know what's going on with her hearing, but sometimes recently I'm having to shout at her before she can hear what I'm saying.

So today I was doubly relieved. This afternoon we returned to the hospital for a five week ultrasound scan and blood test. The blood test yielded a HCG of 4024 (apparently that's good) and as you can see from the picture below, there's definitely something growing inside Flo's tummy!


If you look just to the right of center you can see an oval shape, which is a sack that has formed around the embryo. Inside this sack is a tiny little embryo... it's currently 3 mm long, so smaller than a grain of rice. So that was absolutely fantastic news and straight away there was a huge weight lifted from certainly my shoulders and judging from the big smile that suddenly re-appeared on Flo's face from hers too!

There was some sad news too. We also spotted what appeared to be a very small second embryo. It appears that this second one took (so was certainly transferred successfully) but that it subsequently stopped growing. For a couple of seconds this upset me a little, since the idea of twins had really grown on me. However, in those two seconds I suddenly became aware of the fact that this was very selfish of me, since the risks to Flo are much greater with twins and the fact that there's even one growing inside her is pretty miraculous!

The second relief of the day was that, for a few days at least, Flo can relax and not worry about whether she's pregnant or not, which means smiles and good moods... I like seeing her happy and she positively glows at the moment. But it's two weeks to the next "check-point"...

So, the plan is to be happy for the next week, not to worry and to assume that everything is going to plan. Leave all the worrying to next week and deal with it then.

4 weeks 4 days and syrup waffles

Pregnancy is officially 40 weeks long, but rather than those 40 weeks starting on the date you conceive they run from the first day of your last period. Or two weeks since fertilisation in our case. That’s so the experts have a definite date to work from. It also speeds things up a bit, because I am already 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Me pregnant. Wow. I am slowly getting used to the idea. It is great to be congratulated on my pregnancy. Pregnant. Wow.

Humbled, grateful and still very much aware that a positive blood test is no guarantee to a happy and healthy baby, I am still constantly checking for blood when I go to the toilet. I try not to worry too much and I tell myself that the chance of it working is bigger than the chance of it not working. At least there are enough symptoms to show for it.

My clumsiness makes Jonny giggle and the fact that I have completely gone off stroopwafels, just means there are more for him! Good for me though, since I am bloated as anything. Last night after dinner I could not keep my eyes open, I would have slept standing if I hadn't been sitting on the sofa! I slept for a solid 45 minutes. It seems there is definitely something going on inside my body. Wow!

13dp3dt: and the results are in!

My blood test showed a HCG-level of 451!

I am very pregnant according to the nurse I spoke to. Wow. I am pregnant. Wow.

12dp3dt and yet another symptom: disbelief!

10dp3dt and going slowly mad

I'm on 10 of the 14 day wait and am going slowly mad. At first it was because I had no symptoms, now because I have symptoms. You can't win!

My lower back has been aching and I've had period type pains on and off for the last couple of days. They really freak me out. I've been researching online and seen that they can be a good sign, but then again, who knows?

The main symptoms are being totally obsessive and paranoid though. I just can't help it!

9dp3dt and no use crying over spilled coffee

Coffee is not supposed to be that good for you when you are trying to conceive or when you are pregnant, I know that. But I love a good strong milky coffee in the morning. So I compromised. A long time ago I cut down on coffee and only had one cup of coffee with breakfast. At work I switched to green teas and herbal infusions. Although I have been in my current job for almost a year, my colleagues are convinced I only drink tea since they have never seen me drink coffee.

Then we started the treatment. Enter decaf and more teas. Until this morning. In a bad moment (one of those where I was convinced it hadn't worked), I thought I should really have some coffee. But instead of the powder going in the machine, I knocked it over and it formed a neat pile of coffee on our chopping board. Which made me cry. To which Jonny said that it was really not such a big deal and no need to cry. Which made me giggle. Oh dear, those hormones! I am so aware that the waiting weeks are hard on Jonny too.

If only clumsiness were a pregnancy symptom...

8dp3dt or rather how this is a long long overdue post

Erm, I couldn't decide on the right title for this post. Heck, I couldn't even decide whether I would actually write this post.

You know what it feels like when you have not spoken to a friend for ages and you feel slightly guilty about being so sluggish at keeping in touch. And the longer you wait, the harder it feels to pick up the phone. Then when you finally come 'round to it, it turns out that your friend felt the same and is loving your call. There was a bit of that. So much has happened over the past months and I didn't know where to begin or what to write. Call it blogger's block.

A lot of preparation has gone into this cycle. How nice it was not having to worry about my ovaries behaving, but just concentrating on making my lining receptive for the embryos. How hard it was to sit back and trust that a bunch of other people are doing what they need to in order to get you pregnant. And then you have to think constantly about how weird your life is, which is just tiring.

The down-regulation was not a particularly pleasant experience. The nasal spray brought me in a menopausal state and made me very weepy. I got weepy thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. The donor might not respond well to the drugs, my lining might not thicken up enough, none of the embryos might make it to day 3 or it might simply not work. Egg donation is not fool proof anymore than normal IVF is. And I even got weepy about being weepy!

You can imagine my (and Jonny's!) happiness when I could start the other drugs, the ones to build up my lining. I felt so much better, I was relieved! The donor responded well to the drugs, my lining turned out to be a perfect 10 mm, the sperm was good enough for ICSI and three of the embryos made it to day three. So last Saturday we transferred two embryos that our clinic characterized as "good quality". One six-celled and one seven-celled embryo. We would proudly like to present the first pictures of our two lil' ones:



And here we are: 8 days past a day 3 transfer and I still feel good, if slightly nervous. I try really hard not to analyse every twinge, ache and pain. And I am not doing a very good job at it. Cramps a few days after the transfer, sore breasts, lower back pain. In a good moment I associate the symptoms with pregnancy, in a bad moment I think that my period is looming. Maddening!

According to the doctor and embryologist, we have every reason to be positive and optimistic. Which we are. And I am so grateful to have this opportunity for success and I really apreciate it that we have made it this far. I just wish that time would go a little bit quicker! Five days to go until the blood test...

When Do You Know?

When do you know it is time to move on to donor eggs, one of my friends asked me? When do you decide to make that next step in the infertility journey? Well, I find making decisions hard enough when they don't concern life-changing events. Give me a choice of tea or coffee in the morning and I need to think hard. And oh, the horrors of a restaurant menu with 20 different starters or main courses (choice stress!)... On the other hand, I am quite quick to decide on what I like for our house and also with clothes I generally know what I want. And desserts. Dead easy: something with chocolate of course!

The decision of moving on to donor eggs probably fell in between very easy and impossible in terms of decision-making. We had talked about it before, childishly joking who we'd like our donor to be. After all, one has to joke about very serious things! When we had our evaluation after our third ICSI, we asked our doctor about it. Who dismissed it rather abruptly, especially since we mentioned egg donation abroad. Infertility tourism, anonymous donors with weird diseases and no doubt even weirder personalities, we were stabbed with the speech. We were not to involve them in this hideous crime we were planning and just had to learn to live with being childless.

Building our family through donor eggs did not feel like a crime though, if maybe a little unconventional. And remaining childless didn't sound like a nice option. I know that donor eggs are certainly not for everyone, any more than adoption or even IVF is. But after 3 failed ICSIs and talk of very small percentage chance of conceiving with my own eggs, we were ready. Ready to seriously consider it as an option for us to build our family. One night over dinner we decided (as you do) to go to Spain for an intake in a clinic there.

It turned out that donor eggs would definitely be our best option. And I must say, it was fantastic to hear a doctor say that you have a 60%+ chance of getting pregnant, as opposed to less than 5%!! So we tried to figure out how we'd integrate it into our lifes and our future children's life. We discussed anonymous donation and whether we would tell our future children.

We carefully tried the idea on our closest of family and friends and they were wonderfully supportive. There was no judgement, no difficult questions about things we so painstakingly worried about ourselves. They just wanted us to be happy and for our future child to be healthy and happy. They reminded us that a child is more than it's DNA, that we would still be able to see Jonny's groovy characteristics, that it was a great opportunity for us to get pregnant and have a baby. To give life. Wow.

And in being so sweet and caring, our family and friends made it possible for me to make peace with the the loss of my genetic link with our baby. It helped us in the process. Because that is exactly what is was. There is not one point in time I can pinpoint and tell that is when we decided. At one point it just felt right and we were comfortable with the idea of donor eggs. The decision was made. Spain sounded like a pretty good place for doing some baby-making to us!

Flow Riding

This weekend we were planning on waking up early on Sunday and going for a swim. Quite coincidentally, a friend of ours called up on Saturday afternoon and invited us to come Flow Riding. Never heard of it? Us neither, so here's an illustrative video of Flo and our friends Hugo and Ali.


I was getting a bit frustrated since my body didn't seem to be doing what my brain wanted it to do, but the others picked it up pretty quickly, with Flo and Hugo definitely putting in the best performances. Ali's performance was also good... as a gay Elvis impersonator.

I have been cupped

And it is not some form of internet stalking and it has nothing to do with coffee tasting... It was actually Part 1 of the Crash Preparation Course for the uterus. Make the embryo a happy home!

Cupping is an ancient art found in many cultures to relieve pain. The idea behind it is that stagnation in the body is removed by bringing toxins to the surfaceto be released through the open pores. Or belly button in my case. It is supposed to increase blood flow into the area of cupping.

So my belly was cupped to help the blood flow in my abdomen. Good blood flow is a factor in implantation of the embryo. Cupping in traditional Chinese medicine involves placing a glass cup on the skin with a vacuum heated by fire. A quite spectacular sight I must say.

It felt quite strange because the suction was enormous. It was intense but not painful. And I could actually feel the blood being drawn into the stomach area, warming all parts of my belly.

The cup left a bit of a mark, but no bruise, making me look like Gwyneth . Although there is no evidence for its efficacy, it was good to have the feeling to be doing something, to be in control. And I did feel quite chilled afterwards. Uh. warmed.

Our infertility story

When we didn't get pregnant soon after birth control, I remember telling my sister I feared there was something wrong with me. She said that was normally a typical male fear and we both laughed it off. Tests confirmed it was not me, but Jonny's swimmers. They were a bit slow and deformed. And there were not that many of them.

More than enough to do ICSI though. A form of IVF where the sperm is directly injected into the egg cell. Only a small obstacle to what we both wanted: our own baby. But what is a month treatment on a lifetime. Little did we know back then.

We were so excited and began our first ICSI cycle in the summer. Okay, it was a little bit uncomfortable having so many people involved in the baby making process. And taking so many hormones wasn't doing me any favours. But hey, we were going to get pregnant! Finally! After two weeks of drugs we had five follicles. Three fertilised and two were put back. On day three we transferred. Two Grade C embryos. This was it. We would be a mummy and a daddy.

The two waiting weeks flew by! Why on earth did anybody ever call those waiting weeks difficult? Technically I was pregnant, I just needed the pregnancy test to confirm it. On testing day there was still no sign of blood loss, so I was surely pregnant. Right?

Wrong!

One lousy pink line. That is all the test showed me. My world collapsed. Looking back at our journey so far, I can say that this day I lost a part of myself. It hit me so hard. I don't remember how I told Jonny, I just remember sobbing. Sobbing like I never had before. The rest of that day and much of that week is just a blur. I cried until there were no more tears and then I just sobbed with dry eyes. I got angry and I was in a bad place. A very bad place. I was angry at my body, angry at Jonny and angry at the world. I accused Jonny of not being there for me and he had no idea how to be there for me. We drifted apart.

We eventually found each other again and we started preparing for the next round.

I cut my caffeine way back, took more and different vitamins and put us on an organic food only diet. We tried a new protocol at a new hospital. This time only three follicles. But luckily two of them fertilised and were put back. We had a chance! A good chance with two good looking embryos. Could it be this time? Would we be lucky the second time around? I was between hopeful and gloomy for the whole two waiting weeks. It wasn't to be.

This time I was more upset about having to tell Jonny. I know how much he wanted to be a father. How could I tell him that it didn't work- again. That my body left us in the air- again? I saw the pain in his face when I told him. And we just held each other. For a very long time. And then we prepared for the next round.

We started with a detox- his and hers. More vitamins and I spent half my wages on accupuncture and now we only ate healthy food. No more tampons for me thank you, only organic cotton pads from now on. I took every advice in Zita West's book very serious. It was my pregnancy bible. I had to feel like we Did Everything We Possibly Could have to make this work. It was up to the lab assistants to help nature the last bit.

Same protocol and only one follicle. One lousy follicle. All that drugs wasted to produce what your body produces naturally anyway. We cancelled the cycle.

Then the hospital said it was enough. I was now officially a low responder. With only a 5% chance of getting pregnant with ICSI, they said we'd be better off having sex. Same chance. A second opinion abroad confirmed the low chance. But we were not ready to give up yet. We were still young. We were healthy. We had every chance to beat the statistics. If only we could convince the hospital. Reluctantly they agreed to do cycle selection. We just had to come back every cycle and pick the best cycle to start the treatment.

But there never seemed to be a best. My FSH continued to be high, there was only a low number of follicles each month and my veins started protesting at the amount of needles they saw. Suddenly it was enough. Enough of poking my unwilling ovaries, pumping my system full of hormones, giving blood to vampiring nurses and waiting for the right month.

So in May this year we decided to stop our own IVF- yes, I've been sitting on that story for a little while... We are moving on to donor eggs.

And we are so very happy to be moving again! We are so happy to have a life line!

Smart Heron

Smart Heron, originally uploaded by jonnycorcutt.

I was walking along a street in the Hague this morning and stumbled across this heron standing on the roof of a Smart (cabriolet of course).

I managed to quickly whip out my camera and get a shot of it to share... it made me smile.

A girl after Jonny's own heart!

We have two little guests staying with us at the moment: my nieces Dana and Julia. Dana at one point observed that our house was a little bit boring since we don't have that many toys. Fair enough.

Julia decided to take the matter into her own hands and find something to keep her busy. She is quite an avid reader and started on Jonny's magazines. Car and Top Gear kept her entertained for quite a bit, with Car being a definite favourite!

Posher than plums

I love late summer. July was a bit of a washout, but it seems summer is here now. I love how the weather is sunny and warm, enabling you to still walk around with bare legs and on flip-flops. I love how there still seem to be endless opportunities to enjoy the warm weather before the days really turn shorter and colder again. It is not too late for a BBQ yet!

But what I love most is the fantastic variety of fruit and veg at the moment. We have been gorging ourselves lately on beetroot, blueberries, corn, peas, plums and runner beans, to name just a few. I get so enthusiastic about all the different seasonal produce that when I go to my local stall, I end up buying enough to feed a whole family. Which usually means me practicing to be a domestic goddess and filling up the freezer since there is no way we can eat everything.

When shopping this morning I couldn't resist the look of the damsons on offer. Friendly, if a bit sour cousins of the common plum that benefit from cooking. That is what the owner told me. Since the damsons and I are yet to get acquainted, I am still contemplating what their best purpose would be.

I am toying with the idea of turning them into a chutney. There is something really good about home-made preserves. I love how you can just boil up some fruit with sugar and feel that all is right in the world. Perhaps I could bake a tart to congratulate myself with the purchase of the damsons. A surprise plum tart for when Jonny comes back!

Blueberry Buckwheat Pancakes

Blueberry Buckwheat Pancakes, originally uploaded by jonnycorcutt.

Breakfast was particularly tasty this weekend!

My albatross is about the be removed!

Last night in bed we were talking about my graduation this afternoon. Jonny asked me whether I was nervous already. I wasn't. I am starting to get nervous now though.... And at the same time looking forward to when my MA will be finally out of the way. As Jonny referred to it: when the albatross around your neck is gone.

Literally, an albatross is a large sea bird. The phrase alludes to Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” in which a sailor who shoots a friendly albatross is forced to wear its carcass around his neck as punishment.

I wasn't familiar with the expression, but I didn't regard my course as a punishment. Most of the time I quite enjoyed it. It will be nice to have real free time though, not having to worry about an unfinished paper, a last assignment, a never-ending thesis. It will give us time for our other project: the baby-making one. More on that later.

And then tonight we are off to see my parents in law. For now, have fun with the pictures of our week away here!

Summer in Nederland 2007

This weekend, following our return from cycling in France (more on that later), Flo decided that she'd caught the cycling bug and purchased herself a new one more accustomed to long rides. We then got straight to it and, following a short 30 km warm up on Saturday late afternoon, we then went for a 50 km ride on Sunday to make the most of the terrific summer weather!

We started off in Den Haag and headed off to Wassenaar, but seemed to get detoured via Leiden. We then came back via Kijkduin and the route through the dunes back to Den Haag.


However, as you can see from the picture above, we weren't the only ones who had decided to get out and enjoy the weather... it seems that the remaining population of the country (the others being away on their holidays) had pretty much the same idea, with the rivers, lakes and canals chock-a-block with boats and the cycle and walk paths similarly congested.

But despite it being so busy, it was still good fun and great to be outdoors!

A bit of light relief...

At long last, I finally got around to ordering some lights for the back garden the other week. And not only that, since I'm currently on my holidays I had time to fit them too!

I'm really happy with them, despite initially being concerned that they were a bit too big... but they've turned out to be just right!

You can only really see two on the picture, but there's actually three... if you look hard there's one beneath the tree that shines onto the house.

Latest editions to the house

As you might be aware, we visited Barcelona a few weeks back and came back with... some amusing but nicely taken photographs. The theme is a combination of food and little plastic figurines. Sounds weird, but the pictures make us giggle and they're nice and colourful, brightening up the house and making it feel more homely.


We bought two small prints and have hung these in the kitchen. We also bought a large print and have hung this in the main room and it has quite an effect on the lighting, since it seems to cause a red reflection to spread throughout the room


You might also be able to make out that we've now had the skirting boards installed in the house, so it's slowly becoming more and more homely. And we didn't just stop with the photographs... we also got around to hanging up the poster that we bought when we were in Hong Kong earlier this year.


The garden's coming along too... with the combination of down pours of rain interspersed with sunshine, the garden in looking pretty green and most of the plants have now doubled in size since we planted them last year. Here's a picture of Flo sat out in the garden with her parents... it was surprisingly warm this weekend!


It's almost time to organise the house warming party I feel!

Coffee whippe

Coffee whippe, originally uploaded by jonnycorcutt.

One of the things I enjoy about the morning is our ritual coffee making... not only does it taste lekker, it kick starts the day!

This morning the coffees were particularly good (and needed to be since it was a relatively early start to the day), mainly because we forgot to set the dishwasher this morning so had run out of regular pans... so Flo ended up using an enormous steaming pan to heat up the milk and inevitably poured too much into it, since it was difficult to gauge the correct amount.

But the extra milk enabled me to get a good froth, which I used to full advantage, as you can see.

More tests!

Yesterday it was a test for gluten and today it was allergy testing!

Our doctor is currently participating in a trial treatment, which is said to effectively treat allergies and negate the requirement for anti-histamine drugs.

I've been an habitual user of anti-histamine drugs for pretty much as long as I can remember and I hate it. I can feel that they're not doing me any favours at all, especially when I stop taking them... within a few days I noticeably start to feel more alert and lively. But living life with pollen allergies is horrible... itchy eyes, stuffed up nose, sneezing, irritable skin... just not nice.

The first step in the process is to take a skin test, to test exactly which things one is allergic to. So today I went to the doctors surgery, where they plopped 13 small samples onto my skin and then gave my skin a little scratch for the samples to get under the skin.

After 10 minutes, here was the result.


The tests confirmed what I already knew... that I'm allergic to pretty much all grass, plant and tree pollens, but it was surprising to see that I didn't react to the cat test. I was tested a few years back and that showed up that I was allergic to cats, so it appears that my tolerance to them has improved considerably, probably due to exposure to our two kitties Boris and Boika.

Next step is a chat with the doctor, who will decide whether or not to place me on the trail... but going on the quite severe reaction I had to the grass pollen, I can't see why he wouldn't? It was damn itchy, but the nurse told me I wasn't allowed to scratch.

Here's a copy of my test results.


As usual, click the picture for a close up.

CoeliaTest

A couple of days ago, Flo ordered a CoeliaTest.

That's what I thought.

Both Flo and I suffer from symptoms of tiredness and recently Flo's not been regular with her periods. Inspired by the recent news that one of her friends has just been diagnosed with a Gluten intolerance and aware that this intolerance can cause the symptoms described, Flo's been online and ordered us each a self test kit.

Today the kits arrived and Flo could barely hide her enthusiasm after dinner to get the tests done, getting the kits out on the table before I'd even finished tidying it up. So we took it in turns to test one another and sat for the required five minutes watching the little pieces of test paper.


The result was a bit double. Great that we can continue to happily chomp away on bread and pasta, but kind of sad not to have any answers to our questions. It would be great if there was something tangible to blame everything on that's wrong in our lives. Suppose life's not like that though... in truth it would probably be a bit boring if it was.

If you're interested, here's a description of what the test results mean and some contact info if you fancy trying it yourself.


As usual, click if you want to go larger.

It's me!

Thought I'd give ShoZu a try with my new phone!

More football woes...

A couple of weeks ago I played another football game with my team from work. We were thoroughly slaughtered, but it was good fun nonetheless.

Here's the full match report courtesy of Pravda (click on the pic to make it bigger)...

Bye bye tables

Yesterday we said goodbye to our opium tables. Opium is not really a good prepation when you want to conceive. Oh no, we just thought they didn't fit in anymore with what we want in our house. So we sold them on Marktplaats.

We are not too sure about what we do want, so for the time being we put our glasses of wine and cups of tea on the floor. So far this has resulted in Jonny dunking his toes accidentally in the tea. But only once... :-)

What is your cheese rating?

Your name is: Jonny
Your cheese rating is: Oszczypek

Oszczypek is a very old, smoked cheese, made by shepherds living in the Tatra mountains of Poland from unpasteurised sheep's milk. It has a distinctive, slightly salty taste, and its colour varies from pale yellow to brown, depending on the duration of smoking.

Wow. Not far off, at least the Polish bit, Jonny being half Polish. :-) I am quite a cheese lover (I am Bleasdale - a marbled cheddar- myself by the way), but by no means a connaisseur. I have never heard of this cheese and I don't think our local deli stocks it. One of the few Polish shops around here might have it though. Have to ask my mother in law how to pronounce it...

Enter your name here and get your personal cheese rating!

Korzystac z zycia! Enjoy!

A chance of one in 4.7 billion

No, not the chance of us becoming pregnant... ;-)

Gmail has this great service: it shows google links that match words in your emails. In my case a newspaper article came up: only ten hours apart two sets of sixtuplets are born in the US. Six babies. In one go. Wow.

Dots for inspiration...

Last Friday I went to the hospital. It was day three of the cycle, so check-time. They checked the number of follicles and the FSH level. Two squashed ones on the left and two on the right. FSH turned out to be too high (in case you are interested: 11.1).

Overall, not the best conditions to start treatment this month. They aim for eight to ten follicles for IVF/ICSI and a low-ish FSH (in case you are really interested: below 9).

Of course the number of follicles does not necessary correspond with the quality, but the more the merrier (but too many is also not good). With a certain number they can carefully handpick the best looking embryo. And hopefully that grows into a healthy bouncy baby.

Ideally your ovaries show a dotty pattern (my words, not theirs...)at the start of a (non-surpressed) cycle: lots of small follicles ready to have a few shots of growth hormone! So for inspiration I wore my new dotty knickers. I am planning to wear my new dotty bikini a lot when we go away on holiday next week!

A short break

We are quite open about our infertility treatment. At work the frequent trips to the clinic during office hours need some sort of explanation after all. Some close colleagues know we have had IVF and that we are currently in limbo land. I leave out more details though. I wouldn't dream of talking about the thickness of my endometrium, the state of my ovaries or number of follicles... That somehow doesn't make good coffee machine talk.

Close friends, family, fellow bloggers, support fora, mailing lists we all need for the moral support. So we share our story. On this blog and in real life. In between, during and after treatments. And it is wonderful to be able to talk about our emotions if we need to, great that people don't feel akward about asking us what is happening and nice that others share their story with us too. It is sweet that people hope for us and sympathise with us.

Last week somebody enquired about when I would have my period next. Admittedly that felt a bit weird. I mean... Just for a second or so. I don't really mind, because after all when my next period comes we go the hospital again. And maybe maybe we can start the treatment again. And maybe maybe maybe I will get pregnant. And have a baby. Or two. How lovely would that be!

But it felt weird. Okay, out with it. I think I have ovulated. So within two weeks we go back to the hospital to have my blood tested and determine the number of follicles present. If all is in the limits than we can start. We thought we were getting the hang of all this and being very organised for once. And then all of a sudden it struck me, I'd forgotten something! A quick peek at the last few months in my diary and a few hasty calculations confirmed that our planned city break is, well let's put it this way, rather bad timing.

We'll just have to wait and see when my slightly erratic period actually arrives. And what the blood test shows and if there are more than a few follicles waiting to join the game next month. And if so, if we can fit the possible egg retrieval around our planned holiday. You can't say we don't keep it exciting!

Spinach

Flo and I have been informing family and friends of the virtues of spinach ever since reading/watching the book/television programme "The Truth About Food".

Well, I've finally got around to uploading the relevant episode of the television programme. I've uploaded the entire episode, so you'll either have to be patient and watch the entire episode or wait for it to all download and then scroll through it and try and find the spinach bit.


Enjoy... and eat lots of spinach!

Positivity

This morning we returned to the hospital for a consultation with our gynaecologist to hear his interpretation of the results of the recent tests that Flo has undertaken.

He started off a little scathing, since he wasn't too happy that a registrar had performed the ultrasound last week, but after making his point he settled down and started to get to the point. Although the results of the last ultrasound weren't great, with only three follicles observed, he concurred that Flo's results for the hormone tests were consistently (over a two month period) "fair". We've kind of become accustomed to his parlance and quickly translated the term "fair" as meaning "average" or "typical". Coming from a position of "poor" and "borderline", this felt like a little triumph in my mind.

So, hormone levels look OK, number of follicles looks is a bit low, but the overall outlook is "fair". The gynaecologist actually seemed to encourage us to commence a "natural cycle selection" protocol, indicating that the rate at which Flo is currently liberating egg cells may be in a temporary trough and could at any time pick up and return to "normal". He stressed on several occassions that, although it's statistically preferable to have lots of eggs, he's had several successful attempts with women who have only produced a single egg and gone on to give birth.

So... now we start natural cycle selection. On the third day of Flo's menstrual cycle, her hormone levels will be tested and an ultrasound will be performed. If the hormone levels look good and there's a reasonable amount of good looking follicles (three seems to be the magic number), then let the ICSI commence! Otherwise, we wait 'til the next month and try again then.

Well... it's good news. But at the same time, it's a bit disappointing since we feel that we've just lost six months while the hospital convinces itself that it's worth continuing to treat us. But let's be positive... it's good news and even better, our gynaecologist now seems to be enthusiastic (well, as much as he can be) and fully supportive, despite the "natural cycle selection" protocol being "a bit of a hassle" (his words).

Therefore... next update in a months time!

Tractor maintenance

Industry aiding agriculture is a glorious task for the working class! Workers should follow safety procedures and comrades should keep the overall condition of revolution in mind and perform their duties well. Or something along those lines...

Today we hung the four vintage Chinese propaganda posters we bought in Hong Kong a couple of months ago. They look good on our wall, especially in the new red frames (we thought that was an apt colour). Now we just need to find out what they actually say!

On Mother's day

Friday my sister called me and told me about one of her friends, who we also know. He took the pictures at our wedding and gave us something very dear: beautiful memories of a very special day. We don't see him very often, but when we do, we enjoy it.

When he told us a few months back that his girlfriend was pregnant, he was glowing with pride. Excited at the prospect of becoming a dad. We were very pleased for him and happy to share the moment. At the time we didn't know that their baby was conceived by IVF. That really doesn't matter. Whether it is IUI, IVF, ICSI or any of the variations on the theme, what counts is the end result: a healthy baby.

Unfortunately he and his girlfriend lost their baby last week. His girlfriend almost died of pre-eclampsia and then lost the baby. The baby had not been growing enough and was too small to survive at only 680 grams by seven months.

I can't imagine how terrified he must have been at the thought of losing his girlfriend. The relief when she survived. And the enormous sadness of becoming parents, but not actually getting to know their son. Parents to a baby that didn't make it, but parents nonetheless.

Undoubtedly Mother's day is a sad reminder of what they had and what should have been. I so hope that next Mother's day finds them cuddling their newborn.

Dealing with emotions

My last post was very factual. So much so, I got a comment about it. It is a lot easier to describe what actually happened, than writing how that made me feel. But I'll give it a try!

I sort of knew the blood tests would be okay. Partly based on the first result a couple of weeks back, but mostly because my periods are fairly regular and I have NO symptoms whatsoever that make me think I would be pre-menopausal.

I was looking forward to starting the treatment again. There is something strangely exciting about sticking needles in yourself (in a non-junkie sort of way!). It is a we-are-going-to-make-a-baby-feeling! It is a we-are-doing-something-we-are-going-somewhere-feeling! And maybe a baby will come of it!

That feeling was taken away when we were told to do more tests. How many tests can you do in five years? Yes, five years. That is how long we have been trying for a baby. "Well, another month is not that long then" the nurse said. Although it felt a bit insensitive and matter-of-fact, it is true. It just feels so long.

So my feelings? A bit of everything. I was pleased with the good results. I was upset by not being in control. We depend on the doctors in this process. No matter how much jumping up and down I did, the outcome would still have been the same; we wait. That was disappointing. I was upset with myself for not handling it better. The jumping is slightly tiring after all...

The doctor visit

Last Tuesday we went back to the hospital for the results on the bloodwork. We did not see our own doctor, but we did get the results of the bloos tests. The good news is that my tests all came back fine. Beautiful FSH, E2, progesterone and prolactin levels, the works. What does it all mean? Okay, a quickie hormone lesson, part 2.987.

You make the hormone FSH which stimulates your ovaries to produce follicles. The ovaries also produce estrogen which helps prepare the body for ovulation. Other hormones cause ovulation to occur. The follicle that releases the egg will begin to produce progesterone, which further thickens your lining, preparing your body for pregnancy. My body does all of the above.

The doctor seems to think I just don't have a lot of eggs and/or that they are not very good quality. In the next cycle he wants to check the amount of follicles and do another FSH test. Again. And then maybe maybe maybe we can start the cycle selection in June.

We were a bit confused. We thought we could start another treatment if the results were okay. The doctor apparently wants to get a few test results in a row that say the same thing. I will ask next time we see him. Meanwhile we have to practise our patience for a bit longer and comfort ourselves with the idea that IVF works better in the summer.

Official Newspaper Report

Here's a copy of the official match report from the football game the other week.


Click on the image to make it bigger.

Sakhalin Sokoli

Anyone who knows me knows that I've never really been a big fan of football. I like to watch the big games and world cups and the like manage to stir up a little bit of patriotism in me, but other than that I'm not really a big fan. However, we manage to pull together a team of enthusiastic guys at work for a weekly kick around in the local park (Westbroekpark in Den Haag is our training ground) during the summer time when the evenings are a little longer.

Given that there's only 70-80 employees in our office and that less then half this number are in any sort of condition to do hard physical exercise, we still manage to pull together a full squad of players. To test our competitiveness, we organised a friendly game the other week against another local expat team that play at the Den Haag PGS Vogels club. We were a little daunted when we arrived at their ground the other week... they have their own proper pitch along with a clubhouse and several professional changing rooms. The club hosts about nine men's teams (along with a couple of women's) and we thought we were pitching up to play their nineth team. However, it turned out that we were playing twoof their teams, the first in the first half and the second in the second half. This wasn't really fair, since it meant that we'd be playing a totally fresh team in the second half, plus this was our first full time game on a full size pitch.

So it came as no suprise that we lost 4-1. However, we put up some good opposition, taking the first goal with a penalty and holding the first team to 1-1 in the first half. Towards the end of the second half we were exhausted and inevitably let in two late goals. But we were proud of our performance, as were our opposition who have subsequently offered to allow us to utilise their pitch for future games against third party opposition! Or maybe that had more to do with our generosity in the clubhouse after the game?

Anyway, above is a picture of me playing down the left wing and below is a team picture before the match. I went for run yesterday and was suprised at my performance... seems the social football is having a positive effect on my health as well as being a pleasant way of spending one evening per week.

Soaking up sun

Our little garden is on the north east, so it does not get a lot of sun. Also because it is surrounded by buildings, most notably our own extension.

So whatever sun there is must be appreciated!

Since we were painting today, we had the doors open. Boris took the opportunity to go outside and enjoy the sunshine. He followed the rays all day long, going along the wall, lying in the soil where the sun was. Bless!

IVF update: a slight delay

Some things are predictable. When we lived in Dubai we could organise a BBQ three weeks in advance, having the absolute certainty that the weather would be good. Having said that, we have been absolutely spoiled with lots of sunshine here too and could have planned a BBQ the whole last month. Spring has sprung!

Other things cannot be predicted. My cycle for example follows it's own rythym, not to be disturbed by our agenda. I anticipated our next appointment in the hospital being too early: I wouldn't have had all the blood tests yet. And since they are vital to discuss our next treatment, this morning, I called the hospital. Our next appointment is on Friday 18 May.

Curious as I am, I enquired whether the first results were in. The nurse was a bit reluctant to tell me, saying she could tell me the number, but not interpret it for me. Fine, fine... :-) My FSH level was well within range, so that was good news. Now we'll just have to practise some more patience. I predict three weeks exactly.

A little pot of heaven

What beautiful and sweet nieces we have. This is of course not only the slightly biased opinion of a proud aunt, it was confirmed by the couple that own the vegetable stall where magic beans are sold.

The owners love kids. And kids love them. So last weekend when the two girls stayed with us, we went to the stall. I don't know who was more enchanted, the owners or my nieces. Dana and Julia were admired and then given some strawberries. Dana was particularly impressed by their names: Auntie Apple and Granddad Pear. She wanted to know whether they were really called that. They had their names embroidered on towels, so it had to be true!

The strawberries were a success and the pots of yoghurt later also went down a treat. Especially Julia liked it, ademant to enjoy every single drop of the dessert. And what better tool than your hand to get the last bit out of the pot?

Just passing time

Infertility is a bit of a waiting game. Waiting for medical appointments, waiting for cycles, waiting in the hospital and of course the dreaded two week wait. Although admittedly patience is not one of my virtues, it is not the waiting that I mind that much. It is the insecurity. There is no take-baby-home-guarantee at the end. That is difficult.

All we had to do now was waiting for my next period. That was easy. During this cycle I have to go to the hospital to draw blood on three different days. Tomorrow I will have my day three baseline FSH level and my estradiol level determined. As a general rule, the lower the readings, the better.

Then some more waiting for the results. We have another appointment with the gyneacologist on 3 May. Based on the combined results of the blood test, he will decide the best course of action. Will that mean some more waiting ahead or will we be able to start our next round of ICSI soon? I really hope the latter.

Hope is what keeps us going. Our attentive readers will have noticed that the Hong Kong fortune teller predicted that we will have a baby boy next year. We always thought that we would have a boy, although we would be equally happy with a girl. We would just love to prove him right!

A mandarin collar in the China Club

Jonny bought me a gorgeous dress for my birthday a few months back. It is a cream and black silk dress with a self-tie sash on the back and a mandarin collar. I never owned an item of clothing so beautiful and I feel special when wearing it.

Such a special dress deserves to be worn on special occasions. And sometimes those occasions deserve to be created. So as per my request (a place worth my dress), Robert and Maria took us to the China Club on our last night in Hong Kong.

Hong kong has very few traces of the past. The old Bank of China building, which was built in 1950, is one of the few pre 1960 buildings left standing. The Art Deco building once was a skyscraper. Now, sandwiched between the mirrored Bank of China tower and the glass Hong Kong Bank building, it is a dwarf.

The China Club is on the top floor, or rather, the three top floors. The labyrinthine halls lead to high-ceilinged dining rooms and bars, reading rooms and secluded libraries. The Long March bar resembles the bar of an ocean liner. It looks like a gentleman's club of the 1930s. Apart from the art that adorns the walls: the China Club has one of the best collections of contemporary Chinese art anywhere in the world.

Sat in the bar, you can easily imagine that this is what the colonial past was like, elegant and magical, with a sense of fun. At the same time you know that this is a Hong Kong that probably never existed. And indeed, what feels like a remnant of a colonial past, is in fact brand new. The club was actually built over the past five years. But some sense of a past is worth recreating in a city that is always rushing forward.

Hong Kong

Last week we were indulging ourselves in Hong Kong, but this week we've been dragged back down to earth and back into the usual routine of too much work and not enough Jonny and Flo time.

But we still have the memories fresh in our minds, so it was nice to go through the pictures we took and distil out some of the nicer ones to share with you all. I hope you enjoy browsing through them and that it maybe inspires a couple of people to make a visit... we both very much enjoyed the place and Asia in general.

Hong Kong 2007

We actually stopped over in Bangkok for a couple of days on the way back, but you'll notice that there's no pictures from there. Appologies, but we spent the two days there relaxing in the sun by the poolside and treating ourselves to hour long massages... so just to busy to take any pictures!

It was great to see Robert and Maria in Hong Kong and to catch up with the Dubai crowd in Bangkok! Hope we can meet up again soon.

Bamboo scaffolding in Hong Kong

We are in Hong Kong. A city break to escape to our busy lives might sound a bit odd, but we are starting to unwind.

We leisurely wander the busy streets, we haggle over old Chinese communist posters, we choose dim sum from an all Chinese menu, we take pictures of all the things that strike us as beautiful, bizarre or plain unusual.

But most of all, we catch up with our dear friends Robert and Maria, discuss the past, future and present over a glass of wine and a nice dinner. It has been lovely so far.

A beautifully tailored protocol just for us

The last (and only) time my FSH level was tested, we were told it was elevated. This generally indicates a low number of eggs left in the ovaries. However, the FSH level can vary from cycle to cycle as Jonny pointed out in his last post. Since there is nothing you can do to make more eggs, our best chance to get pregnant would be to start the treatment in a good looking cycle (lowish FSH, good lining and a few follicles) and use a different drug protocol.

Or rather, the cycle selection method forces us to use the antagonist protocol instead of the most commonly used agonist protocol. Since the GnRH agonists surpress the GnRH surpressors, it cannot be used during cycle selection. Or in layman's terms: the most commonly used IVF meds mess with the hormone levels necessary to determine when to start the stimulation.

Agonists are given before starting stimulation and antagonists let you start stimulation without suppression. Although they work slightly differently, the outcome is the same. They both stop the pituitary gland from making LH. LH prevents ovulation. Meaning it prevents all the carefully stimulated follicles to pop and flush away before the puncture. Antagonists do this in a matter of hours, whereas the agonists take a week or so - they make it the pituitary gland overproduce, then it shuts down.

The antagonist protocol permits a simplified and shorter treatment cycle than agonists. That is the good news. During a good looking cycle, I'll stimulate for a few days and when the LH starts to rise, we'd add the antagonist to the daily injections. Done and dusted in just over a week. All we need now, is to get that good looking cycle! Bring it on, body!

IVF update: good news from Voorburg

On Friday afternoon we returned to the hospital at Voorburg to discuss the next steps of our ICSI treatment with the gynaecologist. We went with open minds following our latest insights from our trip to Gent and we happy to see that the gynaecologist followed suit.


Flo's menstrual cycle is back into its regular swing following the last treatment, which is good news since this offsets the problems with Flo not producing many eggs during each treatment. The gynaecologist gave Flo a quick ultra-sound scan and commented on her having a perfect uterus, another good sign. While Flo was putting her clothes back on, I asked the gynaecologist whether Flo had any more cysts and as he started to give me an explanation about the difference between a cyst and a follicle with an egg, Flo came hopping back into the room frantic to hear what he was saying. Apparently, a cyst is just a follicle without an egg, so it's quite common to see them. The problem only arises when the eggless follicle becomes too big, but in Flo's case it was looking OK.

Although making a point that our chances of successful fertilisation are lower than normal given that Flo is likely to produce less than ten eggs during stimulation, he was optimistic that, given the right protocol, we could still have a reasonable chance. He agreed that the protocols that we'd tried to date were not the best given our specific circumstances and he proposed a cycle selection and an antagonist protocol.

Cycle selection means we do some blood tests at the start of each menstrual cycle and only commit to stimulation and treatment if everything is looking good. Of course, looking good is a relative term and what this means is that Flo's uterus and ovaries are in good condition (no cysts and enough follicles) and that Flo's hormone levels are looking good. The really encouraging news was that the gynaecologist stated that, if things look consecutively sub-optimal for a few months in a row, that we stop for a few months and then take another look later to see if things have changed. The idea being that fertillity cycles, with peaks and troughs and that the time that we're doing the test may be in a natural trough. So coming back in a few months may give the body time to peak again.

Another thing that suprised us was the gynaecologist's willingness to try the antagonist protocol, despite the fact that it may mean carrying out the actual ICSI procedure during the weekend. Previously, he had stated that the hospital lab does not operate at the weekends which is one of the reasons that they prefer down-regulating, since it gives them more control over when the puncture will be performed and they can time it to occur during the week. He was now stating however that, although they prefer not to use the antagonist protocol, but in our case it was obvious that this was the best treatment and that, if the lab had to come in and work during the weekend, then so be it.

So, we couldn't have hoped for a better consultation really. We're getting what we want plus the gynaecologist is fully supportive of the procedure. So the next step is to perform some blood tests at the start of Flo's next menstruation. Unfortunately (well, sort of), we're probably going to still be on holiday at the start of the next menstruation, so we'll have to wait until April before heading back for the tests. But after waiting this long, another month is not going to hurt and I think going away for a much deserved holiday will only have beneficial effects for body and mind and set us in good stead to get back into the baby project!

Floor's delivered!

After what seems like an eternity, we finally got our arses in gear (actually, I can't take any of the credit other than for nagging Flo) and arranged for the floor to be installed. It's an epoxy floor, installed in three layers, which of course takes time. Three days in fact, one for each layer.


The timing was great... I was away all last week on a course, so wasn't inconvenienced in the slightest. Flo, however, had to spend three nights with her parents (thank you Flo's parents!) and the poor kitties had to spend three days locked in the back of the house! But it was a small price to pay... their toy mouse slides very well on the floor and they seem to enjoy skating on it, standing on it with their front paws while propelling themselves forward with their rear legs.

The house looks much fresher and much bigger now with the new floor... and it's given us incentive to continue and aspire to get the house finished this summer. That house warming party is starting to look like like a real possibility for the spring now...

And I can't finish this post without saying thank you to Jim for helping move the furniture out and back in again before and after the floor fitting... thank you! And Boris and Boika say sorry for making you sneeze and itch so much.

Try baking!

We have friends and family living all around the world. In Hong Kong, the United States, Britain, South Africa, Brazil, Norway, Spain, Qatar and Canada to name just a few locations. The great thing is that it gives us a good excuse to visit them whenever we have the chance and get to know some exciting places. It also means we don't get to see our loved ones as much as we would like.

My cousin Miriam for example lives in Toronto, Canada. She is such a great person and I would love to see her more. Last year she came over here to attend the Yad Vashem ceremony for our grandmother. She stayed with us for a couple of days. And although we have not seen each other that much over the years, it felt very familiar. Literally! We talked for hours, both keen to catch up on both sides of the family gossip. And just catching up in general.

She told me she likes baking when she needs cheering up a bit. The whole process of measuring, mixing and baking helps take her mind of things. And if that alone is not enough to make one feel better already, there is the sweet result at the end. A garantueed recipe to cheer any person up. And friends and family will love it too. I wholeheartedly agreed with her!

Fortunately the baking occasion today was a happy one! I decided to bake Jonny something to take to work for his birthday tomorrow. Muffins as per his request (it was between muffins and cake). On the above picture you can see the result. They look a bit lobsided, but if past experiences are anything to go by, that won't make a difference to the taste!

I also got Jonny some 'Happy Birthday' napkins to go with it, so now I am just hoping it will entice his colleagues to sing for him. As it happens I am slightly tone deaf, so I'll give it a miss this year....

The colourfull paper cups are from the Danish brand Rice by the way.

Griddup!

I don't really do carnaval. I am not keen on the big crowds, I don't like the dancing and I'll prefer a glass of nice wine to copious amounts of beer anytime, thanks. As a result I miss out on the fancy costumes that go with it.

My sister recently moved to 'south of the rivers', or the catholic part of the Netherlands. It is also known as the more exuberant part of the Netherlands. They talk softer, the food is nicer and they like a good party. There is no real escaping from carnaval there. Especially when you are three years old and all your class mates celebrate it.

My niece Julia will attend the festivities in her new frog costume. She does not look too happy in the picture, but that might have to do with the timing of the Kodak moment: she was sat on the potty (original picture cropped!). However, she does look really cute as a frog! One would almost be tempted, but I think we will just stick to celebrating Pancake Day this year...

Bathroom almost complete

Yesterday, Flo and I actually managed to spend some time on the house! We did have a lot of incentive though, since, after about a four month wait, our medicine cabinet finally arrived! If that wasn't enough, the pair of wall lights we ordered before Christmas also arrived last week, so we were very enthusiastic to have some spare time to get them all installed in the bathroom.

And here they are!


The lights are designed to look like coffee cups, with little hanging tea spoons that can be used to switch the lights off and on... they make waking up in the morning that little bit more bearable, subliminally instilling thoughts of café latte to wake the weary mind.

I find the large cross medicine cabinet quite amusing and it adds a nice streak of colour to the bathroom.

We're just waiting for one more item in the bathroom and then there's only the painting left! That will likely wait 'til the summer though...